Let's Shoot Cupid and See How He Likes It
by therecordwontstopskipping
Summary: A sarcastic Bella's point of view on Valentine's Day, from 2005 all the way through 2009. One shot. All Human
1. Chapter 1

_AN:_ _Ah, Valentine's Day. _

_Don't you just hate it? _

_But, I do like the chocolates. _

_Yum. _

_Disclaimer: SM owns everything._

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**_Valentine's Day, 2005_**

"God damn Singles Awareness Day," I mutter. I stab the ice cream container in front of me and dig my spoon into it. I stick the spoon in my mouth, doing what I had done every other Valentine's Day.

Wallowing.

After since that whole fiasco with Jacob, I just have not been into the dating scene. My roommate, Angela Weber tried to set me up on a few dates, but I always stopped her before I actually had to go on the date.

The door buzzes and I ignore it. No way in _hell _am I getting up. I am in a cacoon of warmth and chocolate-y goodness right now. Screw whoever's at the door. I take another bite of ice cream.

Oh! That one had a chocolate fish in it!

Angela walks past me, wearing a red dress, to get the door. I wrinkle my nose at the color of her dress. Could she scream "Valentine's Day Date" any louder than that dress is? Other than the fire engine red color, it's a nice dress.

She opens the door and I hear a gasp of surprise. I stick my head outside of my cacoon (Oh, how I miss you, warmth. . . ) and peer at the door. All I can see is the top of a blond head and the rest is blocked by a huge bouquet of lilies.

Humph. I bet whoever bought those didn't know that lilies are the flowers of _death_.

"Hey Jasper," Angela says. Wait a minute, Jasper? She was going out with Ben yesterday!

"I'm so glad that you and Alice could make it tonight. I've never been on a double date before, but Ben and I agree that tonight's the perfect night to try it out."

Oh. Double date. Yay. I hear Angela's shoes clacking on the wood floor of our apartment. Don't walk past the living room, don't walk past the living room. . . .

"And this is Bella, my roommate."

And they walk past the living room.

I pop my head up and stare at who I'm guessing are Alice and Jasper. Alice is short, and she has spiky black hair. She looks like a girl that I can be friends with. Jasper is much taller than her, with a mop of messy blond hair on his head.

Aw. They look sweet together.

I smile at them and try to hide the almost empty container of ice cream in my hand. Angela smirks at me.

"This is Jasper Whitlock; He's the history teacher."

Angela is the Literature teacher at the local high school.

"And this is Alice Cullen, his girlfriend."

Alice sticks her hand out with a smile on her face. "Hi."

I grasp her hand and shake it. "Hey there, Alice."

I say hello to Jasper and Ben, who was behind Angela. Ben pecks Angela on the cheek and checks his watch.

"Hey Bella," he says to me. Then he turns to Angela. "It's almost the reservation time. We should get going soon. . . "

Angela agrees and they walk out the door. I frown at the closed door and look down at the empty ice cream container. Damn. I have to get up to get a new one.

Ice cream and getting up, or no ice and staying warm.

Decisions, decisions. . . .

-:-

**_Valentine's Day, 2006_**

"Going out with Jasper?" I ask Alice as she runs around our apartment. Angela and I became close friends with Alice after we met last year, and she eventually moved in with us.

"Yep!" she chirps happily. Alice is the sort of girl that chirps happily at the mention of her boyfriend. I've gotten used to it. "He has something he wants to ask me though, I think. He's always nervous around me lately."

I stare at Alice; for a girl who claims she can see the future, she's pretty stupid at seeing stuff that's right in front of her.

"That's nice," I say, trying to hide my laughter. It's obvious to me what Jasper's going to ask. And I feel like it's going to involve a ring and white poofy dress in a few months. "Have fun tonight."

Have fun getting engaged.

Once she's out the door, I start to giggle to myself. Alice and Jasper make such a cute couple. I'm glad that Jasper finally found it in himself to propose to her. Oh, God. Does this mean that I have to be a bridesmaid? Because Alice and I promised each other that we would make each other our maids of honors when we got married.

I didn't tell her that I was probably never going to get married, but whatever. She didn't need to know that.

Over the past year, I've been on one or two dates, but they were both a bust. Mike seemed a little too preoccupied by Jessica, our waitress.

"Uh, huh," he kept saying. So I decided to see if he was really listening.

"Today, during my lunch break, I play strip poker with the guys in my office. I lost."

"Uh huh."

"And I was naked."

"Uh huh."

"In front of twelve guys."

"Uh huh."

"Say 'uh huh' if you think you're stupid."

"Uh huh."

Yeah. That didn't go anywhere. I really tore into Alice when I got home. Stupid little "physic" set me up on that date.

If she was really physic, she would have seen that she would need a grave soon.

Not that I killed her. But I was thinking about it.

I get up from my bed and walk into Angela's room.

"Hey Angie." I lean on her door and stare at her. She's going out with Ben tonight too. Joy.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love Ben and Angela, it's just well. . .

I'm a teensy jealous. They've been together since junior year of high school, and now they're twenty four. Well, I am too, of course. But you don't see me almost married to a guy. She's getting married in June.

Whatever. I get to sulk in the corner and eat cake.

"Hey Bella," Angela says. She bits her lips as she tries to paint the fingernails on her right hand. Angela's right handed, so I know she's having trouble with this. I walk into the room and grab the nail polish from her hand. I start to paint her nails and she smiles gratefully at me.

"I can't believe that it's already Valentine's Day can you?" Angela asks me.

"Nah. But then again, I don't really pay attention to Hallmark Holidays, so. . . ."

Angela swats my shoulder with the hand I'm not holding down. "It's not a Hallmark Holiday! Stop calling it that."

"Do you know what Valentine's Day is? Or why we have it? Some crusty old dude was killed, and his girlfriend put roses on his grave. Or something along the lines of that. His name was Valentine. You explain to me how we got from the murder of someone to cheesy cards with bears on them that say 'I wuv you' and chocolate."

Angela's silent.

Hah. Take _that_, you stupid Hallmark Holiday.

"But you have to admit, the chocolate's a good part." Angela tempts me to agree with her with the most evil weapon of all. Chocolate. My one weakness. Like, if I was Superman, that would be my kryptonite.

Dangerous stuff, those Hershey kisses.

"Fine. Hallmark Holidays have one good thing. Chocolate. But that's it."

"Haha!" Angela laughs in my face. "You just said that you like Valentine's Day!"

I make sure to dripple nail polish on her hand.

"Whoops!" I grin up at her innocently. "I'll go get the nail polish remover."

I duck the flip flop that comes flying towards my head and I walk into the bathroom laughing.

-:-

_**Valentine's Day, 2007**_

"Honestly, Alice? You picked Valentine's Day, of all the days in the year? Single's Awareness Day?" I ask Alice. She grins at me.

"It's the most romantic day of the year, Bella. When else would I get married?"

I roll my eyes at her and pick at the . . . thing I'm supposed to be eating. It's Alice's wedding reception. And it's Valentine's Day. And I should be wallowing at home. But nooo. Little physic over there wanted to have her wedding today.

So I'm sitting at Table Number One, eating a thing that says it was chicken but it sure as hell doesn't look like that, in a dress that I don't even like that much, instead of eating ice creams. I'm a bit miffed about that one; after all, it's been my tradition for two years.

I eye the happy children at Table Number Thirteen. They have chicken nuggets. I want a chicken nugget. I _will_ get a chicken nugget. I stand up and Alice looks at me, questioningly.

"Bathroom," I say to her. I leave the reception hall, stumbling slightly in my high heels and head towards where I think the kitchen is. I wander through the halls until I come across a pair of doors that says kitchen on it.

Success!

I push my way through the door and suddenly a thought comes to me.

What if I'm not suppose to be back here?

Eh. Whatever. I want a chicken nugget, and damn it, I'm going to get one.

I walk in through the doors and stop dead at the sight of the man before me.

Oh. My. God.

How dd I not see this guy somewhere?

He has on a black tuxedo, with the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, exposing his pale arms. His tie is undone, hanging loosely around his neck. He has messy bronze hair that I want to run my fingers through to see if it's as soft as it looks. And he's munching on a chicken nugget.

Yum.

I mean, for the chicken nugget. Not for the guy. Not that he isn't hot, or anything, but-

I'm going to shut up now.

"Hello," he says to me. He holds out one hand. "I'm Edward."

I feel my lips quirk up into a smile. "Bella. You know where I can get some of that?"

Edward looks startled. "Some of what?"

"Chicken nuggets." I lick my lips, eyeing the one in his hand. "'Chicken drizzled with a homemade Italian-styled tomato sauce wrapped in honey-glazed sliced ham' pales in comparison with greasy kid food," I say.

"True, true." He pats the counter top next to him and I hop onto it next to him. Edward holds up a plate of chicken nuggets and I grab the one on top. I bite into it and almost sigh in contentment. Delicious.

I swallow a bite before I turn to Edward. "So, which wedding are you here for?" There's one other wedding reception tonight, Robert and Kristen, and I wonder if he knows them.

"Alice and Jasper," he states.

Interesting. . . .

"Which one do you know?" I ask curiously.

"Alice." He smiles at me. "She's my baby sister. Actually she doesn't even know I'm here. That's why I'm hiding out in the kitchen."

This is Edward Cullen?! The man that Alice described once as a music obsessed geek?

But then again, Alice likes to shop. A lot. So maybe that has something to do with that horribly wrong description.

"But why doesn't she know that you're here?"

"I'm supposed to be in London," Edward explains. "I'm working over there for a little while, overseeing a new store opening in London. My bosses sent me, and I'm supposed to be there right now, but there's no way I would miss my sister's only marriage." He grins wickedly at me. "And I would never miss a chance to scare the crap outta Jasper. Have to do the whole 'you-hurt-my-sister-I-kill-you' speech."

I laugh with him.

"What time are you gonna reveal yourself?" I question him.

"During the toasts. I'm going to come out, and just kind of wing it from there."

"Good plan," I complement him sarcastically.

"I know," he says jokingly.

-:-

"And now time for toasts to the new bride and groom!" the DJ annouces. He turns the music off and Emmett stands up. He gives me a wink and smirks at Jasper.

I feel bad for Jasper. Poor Emmett will give him no mercy.

"I'm Emmett Cullen, and I'm Jasper's best man. However, before I start off, though, I have an annoucement to make. It's time, ladies. If anyone here has keys to Jasper's apartment, you must give them in now. He's now a married man."

Suddenly, one of Alice's cousins stands up and walks over to Emmett. She drops a key into a hand and everyone starts laughing. Soon, a lot of girls are walking up to Emmett, dropping keys into his hands. Suddenly, Peter, one of Jasper's friends, gets up and drops a key into Emmett's hand. The laughter starts again, harder than before.

Jasper drops his head into his hands and I hear him groan. I bite my lip, fighting a laugh and I see Alice rubbing his arm comfortingly.

"Now that, that's over with-"

He cut off by the door opening. Edward's standing there in all his glory, a crooked grin tugging at his lips.

"You didn't think that I would actually miss this, did you Alice?"

Alice shrieks happily and leaps out of her seat. She practically tackles him with the force of her hug.

I have to stop myself from saying "Aw! How cute!" out loud.

-:-

"I can't believe you interrupted my speech, man!" Emmett whines.

Edward chuckles and rolls his eyes. "Sorry, Emmett. I didn't mean to pick your speech. I just walked in."

I grin at Edward, "Nice entrance."

He grins back at me. "That's why I picked it."

Emmett walks away saying something about finding something to drink and I turn to Edward.

"You and Alice must be close."

"The closest. We were more like best friends growing up, rather than siblings."

I smile at him. "That's sweet."

Suddenly, Edward looks nervous. "Um, I know we just met, and all but, um-"

He cuts himself off, running a hand through his hair, making it even messier. "I'm horrible at this kind of thing. Maybe, once I get from London for good, we can go out for a date?"

I smile at him and bite my lip shyly. I look at him from under my eyelashes. "I'd loved to."

-:-

**_Valentine's Day, 2008_**

"I can't believe it's a been a year since I've met you," Edward murmurs in his velvet voice. His fingers trace patterns on my palm as he stares into my eyes.

God, I love it when he does it. His eyes are just so deep. . . .

What was I thinking, again?

"Neither am I," I say. "I am really glad that I wanted that chicken nugget, though."

We both smile at the way we met. It's so ridiculous that we met over a chicken nugget, but I think it's perfect the way we met.

"I have something to show you," he says. Edward stands up from his couch and picks me up. I laugh at him as he puts me on my back.

"I can walk you know," I say to him.

"Oh, I know. But I like carrying you."

I roll my eyes at him. I love the man, but honestly, "I like carrying you?"

Sounds like some sort of creeper.

He carries me into the room where his piano is housed. It's a grand baby piano, that's just amazing looking. I have no idea how he does it, keep it that clean and sparkly all the time. I thought that guys were supposed to like cleaning.

Edward finally lets me down and walks over to the piano. I sit down next to him on the bench, and he turns to me. Edward opens him mouth to say something, but closes his mouth and instead turns to the piano. He places his hands on the keys and begins to play.

A melody so sweet that I want to cry just hearing it starts to come from the piano underneath his hands. His hands float over the keys, weaving a complex melody. The song bring tears to my eyes and all I think of is one word:

Love.

It's what the song is. The song is Edward's love to me, my love to him, the love we share each day. Love is the reason we live. We live and die for each other and the song is a testimony to that. I'm not sure how the long goes on for, but it stops all to soon for my liking.

"Bella?" Edward's murmurs. "I love you, Bella. With all my heart and soul, I love you."

It's the first time he's ever said it. I feel tears making their way down my cheeks, but I don't care. I don't care that I'm ruining the make up Alice put on me. I don't care that my eyes will be red and puffy for the next two hours. I don't care about anything in the world other than the amazing, marvelous, love of my life in front of me.

"Oh Edward!" I whisper. "I love you too."

Our lips meet and I've never been happier on Valentine's Day.

-:-

**_Valentine's Day, 2009_**

"Do you, Edward Cullen, take Bella Swan to be your wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?"

"I do." His voice is so full of love that I almost melt to the floor. I blink back tears and smile at him.

My husband. Or least, he will be in about five seconds.

I can't believe that I'm getting married. Married on Valentine's day, nonetheless! God, how cheesy and sappy can I get?

But who cares about how sappy I am if I'm getting married to the love of my life?

I take a deep breath and stare into his green eyes. They've always been my favorite thing about him. The color of them, the depths of the, the way they dazzle me. . . .

Oh yeah! Vow time. I smile at him.

"Do you Bella Swan take Edward Cullen, to be your husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do you part?"

"I do." My voice is loud and I can hear the love in my own voice as sure as it was in Edward's.

Edward slides the wedding band onto my finger; I do the same for him. It goes by in a blur, but I don't feel like I miss a minute of.

"And by the power invested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may now kiss the bride."

Edwards pulls me to him and the kiss he gives me is full of promises. Promises for the future, promises for a happy life together. Promises that say we'll never part.

I wrap my arms around his neck to kiss him for a little while longer.

Happy Valentine's Day, indeed.

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_Aw. I'm just big ball of fluff today. And the whole "Best man making an announcement and a bunch of girls and one guy giving in a key" thing totally happened to me. I was at my cousins wedding and that exact thing happened to me. _

_Also, the 2006 conversation between Angela and Bella is what inspired me to write this. I had that conversation with Annika two days in school and I was like, "Hm. . . .I wonder. . . " _

_Aha. I'm a writer; what can I do? I'm a slave to the written words. _

_And the Robert and Kristen wedding? I needed a few names, so I just used the Edward/Bella actor/actress. _

_I'm so witty, I amaze myself. . . . _

_Just kidding. _

_(A little bit.)_

_Review,  
therecordwonstopskipping_


	2. Chapter 2

So. Fancy seeing you here.

. . . .Yeah, I'll just get on with what I have to say.

I --AKA, therecordwontstopskipping, or to my friends, Janine-- am wondering whether or not you guys want me to continue this story. Like, put what happens between all the Valentine's, how Edward's and Bella's relationship grows and what happens after they get married.

Savvy?

Just drop a review telling me whether or not to keep this as a oneshot or continue it.

Review,  
therecordwontstopskipping


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